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"That wickedness weltering around inside of you, inside of everyone, is sacred somewhere. There's a deity out there who digs it. You can respect and love your darkest side, disposing only of what is obsolete or impractical. It's all about giving yourself permission."

--Jack Darkhand

Wow, how can I convey who this man Jack Darkhand was when you read a quote like that above?! Jack Darkhand was a person I've respected and admired and my intention with this article is to try to.

Unfortunately for being in the 'know' of social circles, I am not. Basically I'm a country bumpkin and always will be. Still I'm a pagan/pantheist practitioner and some how some way like kinds find each other. I was living in a Redwood tree house near Bodega Bay in Northern CA. At the time dealing with a divorce but still keeping up with my mundane life (job and responsibilities) as well as my ongoing spiritual practices (public and private ceremonies, music gatherings, readings and this newsletter which was a 17 page hardcopy version). My close friend Guy, met Jack Darkhand at a pagan gathering in the Bay Area. Guy lived in the east bay but was always socializing in S. F. and Oakland. He sent me a link to Jack's newsletter called at the time The Pagan Update. I was absolutely impressed. At the time, this was in the mid 90's, the internet was not as amazing as it is today, and this newsletter was amazing. The Pagan Update was beautifully put together with intriguing and colorful imagery. At the time Jack was featuring the Norse gods and the myth of Odin. I didn't know much about such myths so I was fully captivated. It was very clear by the insights and information he published that Jack was a very avid and knowledgeable astrologer. In addition there were little vignette antidotes and apothecary insights with a few blog type entries as well. I can say he was ingenious and a head of his time. Not least of all was that this amazing newsletter was put out every single day! Here I thought I was doing a lot of work. I couldn't even come near to what Jack generated.

Well, I emailed Jack and asked him to put me on his mailing list so that I'd be able to receive The Pagan Update when ever he published it. Yet, I do have my own personal peeves. One major one is that I don't really like to follow or become a member of anything unless I find out as much as I can about the organization and characters of the folks running the show as well as the writers who profess or send out information. I wanted to endorse his work but first I really needed to find out more about him.

During this time I had a very hectic job in marketing and had to travel to conferences and meetings. I had a meeting I had to go to in Walnut Creek so I emailed Jack and asked if I could stop by and meet him for a short chat on my way home. He cheerily said of course and gave me directions.

At the time Jack was living in the Oakland hills and even though I had a Jeep Cherokee at the time with four wheel drive, I was in a sweat getting up through those windy steep streets. When I finally did make it to Jack's doorstep it was worth it. From that doorstep you could look out onto the Oakland bay harbor and its twinkling lights. It was indeed a magical view.

The first real clue was hanging on his wall, a black bow and arrow set. On my northern portal wall in my own place also hung a bow and arrow set. That bow and arrow told me that instant that there was truth here, even though I still had more to inquire I knew all was well.

Jack Darkhand was indeed a gracious host. He offered chocolates and wine he made himself. He said ladies always have to have some chocolate. I came armed with treats and offered cookies and nuts. So we sat looking out into the bay and discussed the newsletter and his commitment to his path of shadow work. An additional reassurance was Jack had a room in his place set up just for an apothecary. I left feeling quite assured that he was the real thing and forwarded his newsletter link to friends after. I had stayed on his mailing list ever since.

The years went by and by the time I took my art work on the road I received a group email informing us that Jack was moving out of the Bay area and to Washington State. By that time The Pagan Update had changed into a web site with the help of Jack's girlfriend Linda.

At the same time I put out DiamondStar about once a year until I moved here to Hawaii. From that point on what I did receive from Jack were now and then emails about his life, i.e. when he got married to Linda and then another about his daughter's births and other things he was advocating. I too was settling down and realizing that to put out a 17 page hardcopy newsletter was too expensive and too time consuming. In the back of my mind I was planning on turning it into something like what Jack did with The Pagan Update but I had to get my site together first, in which I eventually did. Even so doing this newsletter 4 times a year is still too much for me anymore. I still don't see how Jack did that newsletter every day all by himself for all those years. He was indeed an extremely dedicated and a very committed and caring individual to do so.

I was in South Dakota doing an internship assignment at a Dakota Sioux reservation writing articles and researching information on health and rights for Indian people when I received an email from Linda Darkhand, Jack's wife. An email from someone that wasn't involved with the intensive work I was involved with was a welcomed relief so I gladly opened it. Yet as soon as I did I was hit with an overwhelming shock to my system. Jack had made his physical transition. I closed the email immediately. It just couldn't be digested. He wasn't married that long. His girls were still too little. This just couldn't be so. I didn't get back to that email for another week. By then I found that Linda had a blog going on for more information. Apparently it was a very unexpected event. Jack had just stepped into the shower for the evening and had a heart attack. Quick and simple and unbelievable. I wanted so much to write to Linda. I wanted so much to write about Jack in her blog. Unfortunately at the time there was too much for me to deal with during the internship that I had to tell myself that I couldn't do it right then. I really couldn't deal with it then. Though I did carry Linda and the girls with me and included them in our prayer circle and emailed my request for them across the country for our April prayer circle held on the 13th.

I knew that when I returned home I would write to Linda and try and give her a call to talk with her and to pay a tribute to Jack through this newsletter. That was a promise I made to myself.

Ironically when I sent an email to Linda it was in July and just a few days before Jack's would be birthday. I knew he was a Leo but I wasn't sure when he was born. He was an early Leo born July 24, 1956 and in spite of Jack's deep approach to the shadow side of life and its healing, Jack was definitely a very good representative of a summer child. Jack was a sunny, joyful and positive being. If you look into the comments written about him, there is an absolute affirmation that these qualities were Jack. You can read more about him and his family at Linda's blog http://jackdarkhand.blogspot.com. Linda was so obliging to my call and I found her to be a very down to earth and honest woman. Speaking to her was like talking to a very solid and strong person, and she says much about being strong in her blog. She like Jack was very gracious to share with me her life with Jack and her life now with their girls Sarah and Gabby. Most assuredly Jack was a real honest to goodness true practitioner. He was IT. He was the one who held the rituals and shared them with his family. Making moon cakes and dancing to the moon with his wife and daughters was a lovely and touching memory Linda shared.

Linda cleared up some things. Jack was from a Scottish heritage, not Irish. They moved to Washington closer to her family after Jack's position was outsourced

Jack Darkhand

July 24, 1956 - March 22, 2009

Jack Darkhand

He had a very high tech capability with computers (that's why the amazing newsletter).Also he was working a full time job while every morning before work he'd send out The Pagan Update. He also had a data base he's pull his astrology data from. They had met in 1992 at an Ancient Ways festival in the Bay Area and were friends for sometime before marrying. Jack was a frequent facilitator for many Bay Area pagan events. He was about a rock star local celebrity status in the Bay Area and many folks thought you were something if you knew Jack Darkhand. Yet, he'd make major efforts to help someone in need or to spend time with caring support. He touched many people's lives and I have to include mine amongst the many. There was a time when a friend of mine who owns a bit of property in northern CA was having trouble on her property, animals dying and a contaminated aquifer.  I called Jack knowing he was a dowser and member of a national dowsing organization.  He said because of some of the contamination he'd do an acupuncture release technique for the lay lines on the property which he'd dowse for. One of my friend's concerns was she didn't’t want to have to pay anything and Jack assured her that she shouldn't’t have to pay in fact if it was highway pollution the county should have to deal with most of the clean up.  Unfortunately for the land and animals it turned out she really didn't’t want anyone 'snooping' on her property. Jack was sincerely willing to come and help her in spite of a lengthy commute on his part.

Linda had six and a half years with Jack and those years were very happy and fruitful. I am glad he was able to have those years as well.

Jack made his family his priority and being with them for the last years of his life was his total commitment. He lived well.

I was never able to attend any of Jack's ceremonies but my friend Guy was very impressed and felt very good about what Jack offered. Fortunately I was able to read what Jack wrote and found Jack to be highly intelligent and profoundly stirring with his spiritual and educational insights.

A portion of his obituary:

Jack Darkhand was born in New York. When he was about 9, he moved to Torrance in southern CA. He graduated with a BA from UCLA with a major in English literature and a minor in physics. He moved to the Seattle area in 2003. He most recently worked at AT&T in Bothell as a business analyst, a job he loved. For Jack, though, caring for his family came first.

He was expansive, outgoing, and larger than life. He was a proud Pagan. He was well known in magickal circles in CA, especially in the Santa Cruz and San Francisco Bay Areas. He was interested in astrology, Greek deities, writing, and making homemade cordials. He was infamous for his Sweet Liquid Trouble brew, a liqueur made with damiana. He most recently experimented with brewing cherry cordials and was looking forward to this summer when he could make some more. He loved music and playing guitar. He made his own magickal tools and was looking forward to starting a business where he could make beautiful tools for others. Mostly, he loved time with his family. Whatever activity Jack did, he did it with gusto and enthusiasm.

 



                 
                




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